Author: johnnyboy61

Autism Does Not Discriminate

Autism is indiscriminate. It exempts no people group regardless of race, nationality, ethnicity, religious affiliation, party affiliation, socio economic level or any other characteristic used to describe people groups.

Cited References

https://www.mastermindbehavior.com/post/autism-in-europe

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165178119311850

https://www.abs.gov.au/articles/autism-australia-2022

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1750946720301604

Raising children who are diagnosed with ASD is a labor of love. Families struggle with so many challenges and issues that are not present in families of non autistic children. One of the most hurtful challenges is the stigma associated with autism.

Cited References

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8992913/

https://sparkforautism.org/discover_article/stigma-autism/

https://www.autismspeaks.org/life-spectrum/its-time-stop-stigma

https://www.mastermindbehavior.com/post/autism-and-stigma-ebd00

The stigma here in the USA is being amplified by incomplete and inaccurate information propagated by some our our leaders and embraced, without discernment, by some citizens. Weaponizing autism for political purposes is malevolent and hurtful. Convince me I am wrong.

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Words Matter – Less Can Be More

My father was a wise man.  Ask anyone who knew him.  When he spoke, his words warranted your attention. A person with an open heart and mind could learn wisdom from him if there was a willingness to listen to, reflect upon and apply his message.

Some of his wisdom carried a steely sternness. I share one of his pearls of wisdom with you.

He was convinced that it was unnecessary to point out a persons lack of knowledge.  He used a stronger term than lack of knowledge.  He believed that a persons words and behaviors would reveal their lack of knowledge.  He encouraged me to speak less so I do not reveal my own ignorance. In that regard, and many others, I am still a work in progress.

I am grateful for a wise father who tried to impart wisdom to me.  Dad – you are loved, missed and always with me.  Thank you.

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Autism, Hope and Blessings

I dedicate this to every loving mother and father raising a child with special needs.

Parenting a normal child is daunting. Parenting a special needs child escalates daunting to level that can be excruciating at times.  And it puts the parents and child on a metaphorical island emotionally and socially.  Take a look at your community and search for support groups specifically focused on special needs families.  There are not a lot of options.

Many churches have special needs classes for the child on Sunday but there are still precious few choices to socially integrate a special needs child or their parents. And the emotional roller coaster is exhausting.  Heartache, grief and fear are our frequent companions. 

We grapple with terrible questions.  What caused this? Why us? Is there anything we could have done differently to prevent this? Inevitably guilt creeps into our thoughts and we seek answers to the most terrible question – Did we do something to cause this?

Your extended family can provide comfort, if that is what they choose, but they can also choose to make your heartache, fear, grief and guilt worse. Rather than seek to understand your emotions they attempt to inform you and influence you with their answers to all of the previously mentioned questions.  Where is kindness and compassion in that?

Tylenol is not the root cause of my son’s autism.  Thirty five years of medical testing and clinical observation still cannot provide us with a singular, definitive cause.  And at this point the answers are not as nearly as important or urgent as they were. Now our focus is on how we create the best life for the child and the parents. We are a work in progress and we are blessed.  Praise be to God the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

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Mind Then Heart or Heart Then Mind?

People have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior because of the many debates Charlie Kirk engaged in.  The breadth and depth of his Bible knowledge was amazing and his ability to put forth rational and logical arguments based on his knowledge persuaded many minds.

My struggle is that in reading the Bible, I have not found a situation in scripture where Jesus initiated a debate to present his message of redemption and salvation. I find many situations where Jesus engaged in debate only as a response to the criticisms and attacks he faced from religious leaders because of the message he was presenting.

Jesus’s message resonated with and touched hearts as well as minds.  As a teenager, I felt out of place at church because all my friends had already walked the aisle, made a profession of faith, and been baptized—most of them as children.  But I was, and still am, a scientist. I put my trust in the ideas and concepts that can be empirically observed, measured and verified. But the afterlife, the Trinity and Heaven cannot be observed, measured or verified.

There is a chasm between belief and faith. But no matter how long, how deep or how wide the chasm is The Cross can bridge it.

Definition of belief: An acceptance that something is true or exists, based on evidence, reasoning, or conviction. 

Definition of faith: Strong trust or confidence in someone or something unseen, without requiring proof.

If the afterlife, the Trinity and Heaven could be absolutely proven then faith would have no eternal value.  I was reluctant to believe because nothing could be proven to my mind regarding the spiritual realm. And my mind overruled my heart because that is how a scientist behaved in my thinking.

But after completing a Bible study in Sunday School where we did a side-by-side reading and comparison of scripture with The Hobbit my heart was affected in a way that opened my heart to faith.   I realized that my heart had faith even though my mind had not yet embraced belief.

Since then I have gained trust in Jesus and confidence in scripture. The growth of belief from faith is a work of the heart and is an inner transformation.  And that transformation is not linear or predictable.  It has ups and downs and ebbs and flows.  I take comfort in knowing this is part of the Christian journey.

There is a story in Mark about a father who brings his son to Jesus for healing. Jesus declared that if the father can believe it is possible for the son to be healed then he will be healed.  The father makes a statement that resonates with me.

Mark 9:23-25

New King James Version

23 Jesus said to him, “If[a] you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

Fifty years after being saved there are still episodes in my life that challenge my belief.  It is my trust in Jesus and confidence in scripture that sustains me in those difficult times. And it sustains me now as I lament the senseless death of Charlie Kirk.  He is a child of God, brother in Christ and made in the image of the God he loved and served.  He is now in the loving arms of his Heavenly Father.  And yet my heart aches for his family and my mind hungers to understand why?

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Why Won’t We Act To Save Our Children?

A conversation about vetting access to rifles specifically designed to kill and maim humans is in the best interest of our precious children.  Is it not preposterous to rail against the killing of unborn children and implement laws limiting or denying access to abortions and then default to “thoughts and prayers” in response to the slaughter of our children while at school? Thoughts cannot stop the bullets that rip through the bodies of our children when they are attacked.  Prayers cannot keep a man-made killing machine out of the hands of perpetrators intent on massacring our children.

Why can’t we talk about ACTIONS that might prevent another eighteen-year-old from buying himself a rifle designed to hunt and kill humans for his birthday and then using them to massacre our children?

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Gulag 101

While growing up at 101 Cascade Street, my siblings and I were subjected to a set of rules and expectations. Our parents set the rules and expectations without any input from us. In order to live there and enjoy our free room and board until we were eighteen years old, we had to abide by the rules and strive to meet the expectations.


If rules were broken then there was punishment. If expectations were not met then there were consequences. Like being grounded, banned from using the only phone in the house, or denied use of the family car. The boundaries and expectations were clear. Infractions were addressed through appropriate punishment or consequences.


We each managed to survive to eighteen years old while living in this gulag. We each emerged stronger and wiser for our years of incarceration. Fifty years later it is clear to me why it had to be that way. This prepared us to function in society where there are a set of rules and expectations that we must live by in order to navigate well through life alongside others.


If you are fifty or older you may share a similar history. So how did we become the generation that accepts and even encourages ignoring the rules and cursing the consequences? There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth that the social media platforms are censoring a particular point of view. When you joined the platform, you agreed to abide by their rules and expectations. They are private companies and are under no obligation to protect your freedom of speech.


There are many ways to share thoughts and ideals over the internet. There are platforms like Parler that touts itself as the Free Speech Social Network. So take the thoughts and ideas there and be liberated from the other platforms that are attempting to keep their platforms humane. Because no one has the authority to force you to be humane. That is up to you.

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Paint a Masterpiece

The character that we build is constructed thought by thought, word by word and action by action. The sum of our thoughts, words and actions define who we are.  Our thoughts cannot be read by others so their perception of us is based on what we say and do.   

What we intend or mean is overshadowed by our choice of words and actions.  Our goal should be to select our words and actions thoughtfully and precisely so the character we reveal is in harmony with how we see ourselves.  Careless words and actions can make us sound and appear to be harsh, insensitive, ignorant, mean, hateful, etc.  

We are each painting our own self portrait with our words and actions. We have a great canvas.  Let’s choose our brushes and colors wisely.  

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What Are You Thinking?

I am a life long observer of human behavior.  It fascinates me.  Watching how my fellow earthlings act and listening to how they speak can take me from the heights of joyous celebration to the depths of despair or the other way around. Sometimes in a matter of 15 seconds. We are too often volatile creatures.

From watching humans for five decades I have come to the conclusion that we all move along the T-W-A continuum.  Not the Trans World Airlines continuum but the Thoughts – Words – Actions continuum.  Specifically we form our thoughts or allow them to form us, then we express those thoughts through the words we choose and finally we manifest both thoughts and words in the actions we take. As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated so succinctly “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”

Let’s go back to the first segment of the continuum.  Either we form our thoughts or we allow them to form us.  I argue that successful humans take responsibility for forming their own constructive thoughts rather than allowing their destructive thoughts to rule them.   While this may apply to those that accumulate wealth, power and influence I am referring to being successful in relationships with our fellow human beings. I am referring to the folks that get along with almost anybody, who almost always have encouraging words for others and put the needs of others ahead of their own.  I hope you know some one like that.  We desperately need more of these folks among us.

I also argue that the most destructive and offensive members of the human race became that way because their negative thoughts govern their lives.  Maybe they have been deeply hurt and never recovered which generated negative thoughts that spiraled out of control.  Hurting people hurt people is a common adage.  Maybe they have suffered injustice that left painful emotional scars that never healed and the pain drives them to crave revenge.  Is there really anyway to know how they arrived at the point of harming others?

But as we experience more tragedies like the massacre in Orlando we are going to feel the wrath of these disgruntled human beings more deeply than ever. At Columbine, Sandy Hook, the Boston Marathon,  the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and now at the Pulse in Orlando precious lives were extinguished by human beings so consumed by hate that we cannot begin to understand. We are mostly powerless to detect or deter these horrific events.

That does not mean there is nothing we can do. We can begin by cultivating thoughts that all lives are precious.  They all matter.  No exclusions, no excuses. We can continue by speaking kind, respectful words to other human beings and about other human beings. Reject the rhetoric of the political leaders, the candidates running for election or the many self proclaimed pundits in the media or on social media. Most importantly,  let our actions speak loudly of love, grace, benevolence and tolerance. Anything less is a dismal alternative.

 

 

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MAMMA’S BOY

I am a mamma’s boy.  I am not afraid or ashamed to claim that moniker even though I am aware that it can have negative connotations. My dear mother has done and continues to do so much for me and I consider it an honor of the highest magnitude to carry the title “mamma’s boy”.

Since giving birth to me she has loved me constantly, encouraged me consistently and prayed for me continuously.  I am alive and well today because of her continuous prayers on my behalf.  No other power but the power of a mother’s prayer, answered by a powerful heavenly Father, can explain how I have survived too many risky and dangerous situations I put myself in when I was younger.  And I am joyful everyday because that power is still at work in my life.

The pivotal moment when I fully embraced the role of mamma’s boy happened when I was about 12 or 13 years old. Mom had been away on a rare trip without dad for one of the civic clubs that she participated in.  Immediately upon her return home dad left on a business trip for several days.  So mom had to fend for herself with my younger brother, my older sister and me.

A day or two later it was getting rough on mom because we were way less than perfect teenage children. Exasperated, mom picked up the suitcase she had not yet unpacked from her trip and headed out the door to leave. We all three stood there like the proverbial deer in the headlights and watched her walk out the door toward the car.

I overcame my paralysis quickly and ran out the door after her.  I asked her “what about dad?” to which she replied “I am not leaving your dad, he is welcome to come with me”.  It was then and there I put on the mamma’s boy cape.  I asked her what I needed to do to get her to stay.  She asked me to be more considerate and more cooperative and I agreed to that and anything else she needed. So to this day, if my mom asks me to do something, anything, I agree and do it. No questions, no arguments, just do it.

What I get in exchange is what I have always had, her constant love, consistent encouragement and continuous prayers.  I think I get the better part of that deal.

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