There Ought to be a Hall of Fame for Mammas

Caution: This story includes reference to sexual assault.

My grandmother was a folk healer. That term is not used much these days. A generally accepted definition of a folk healer is an unlicensed person in the community who practices the art of healing using traditional methods to alleviate pain and spiritual suffering. Her name was Pearl Harklerode. But everyone in the community called her Mammaw Doc, which was short for Mammaw Doctor.

When my mother was around ten years old, a neighbor called Mammaw Doc and said he was suffering a health problem and needed help getting groceries from the store. Being the caretaker of the community, Mammaw Doc sent my mom and one of her brothers to the neighbors house to go to the store for him.

When my mom and uncle arrived at the neighbors house, the neighbor gave cash to my uncle and sent him to the store alone. That left mom alone and vulnerable. While my uncle was gone the man sexually assaulted her. Then threatened to harm her and my uncle if she told anyone. She did not.

She had to deal with that trauma alone as a child. Can you imagine her pain and suffering?

Years later, mom had put herself through school and become a Registered Nurse. She was working at Grace Hospital. One day the neighbor, the man who assaulted her, was admitted to the hospital with a terminal illness. Mom was assigned to be his nurse. Can you imagine her pain and suffering?

Mom gave him kind and compassionate care even though she did not feel like he deserved it. She believed that choosing mercy was spiritually and morally right no matter how much pain and suffering she was experiencing.

Mom confided this to me about thirty years ago. I share it with you now because men in positions of power and influence continue to be excused for this evil behavior and it infuriates me.

Boy or girl, man or woman, if you are the victim of sexual violence I want you know know you are precious and dear. I pray that mercy, kindness and compassion find you and surround you. You are loved.

MAMMA’S BOY

I am a mamma’s boy.  I am not afraid or ashamed to claim that moniker even though I am aware that it can have negative connotations. My dear mother has done and continues to do so much for me and I consider it an honor of the highest magnitude to carry the title “mamma’s boy”.

Since giving birth to me she has loved me constantly, encouraged me consistently and prayed for me continuously.  I am alive and well today because of her continuous prayers on my behalf.  No other power but the power of a mother’s prayer, answered by a powerful heavenly Father, can explain how I have survived too many risky and dangerous situations I put myself in when I was younger.  And I am joyful everyday because that power is still at work in my life.

The pivotal moment when I fully embraced the role of mamma’s boy happened when I was about 12 or 13 years old. Mom had been away on a rare trip without dad for one of the civic clubs that she participated in.  Immediately upon her return home dad left on a business trip for several days.  So mom had to fend for herself with my younger brother, my older sister and me.

A day or two later it was getting rough on mom because we were way less than perfect teenage children. Exasperated, mom picked up the suitcase she had not yet unpacked from her trip and headed out the door to leave. We all three stood there like the proverbial deer in the headlights and watched her walk out the door toward the car.

I overcame my paralysis quickly and ran out the door after her.  I asked her “what about dad?” to which she replied “I am not leaving your dad, he is welcome to come with me”.  It was then and there I put on the mamma’s boy cape.  I asked her what I needed to do to get her to stay.  She asked me to be more considerate and more cooperative and I agreed to that and anything else she needed. So to this day, if my mom asks me to do something, anything, I agree and do it. No questions, no arguments, just do it.

What I get in exchange is what I have always had, her constant love, consistent encouragement and continuous prayers.  I think I get the better part of that deal.